[pct-l] How a Backpacker Thinks

Hiker97 at aol.com Hiker97 at aol.com
Sat May 12 07:14:04 CDT 2007


Steven Wright has to be a backpacker and spent a lot of time in trailtown  
hiker saloons.  Here are some things he has said and they seem to me  to be 
things I have heard in trail saloons along the PCT:
"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been  stolen...and replaced by 
exact duplicates." 
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize." 
"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back." 
"Half the people you know are below average." 
"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name." 
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot." 
"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so  good." 
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." 
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." 
"All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand." 
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the  cheese." 
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we  met." 
"OK, So what's the speed of dark?" 
"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?" 
"If everything seems to be going well you have obviously  overlooked 
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." 
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane." 
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be  lazy." 
"Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now." 
"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good." 
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?" 
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet  engines." 
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" 
"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?" 
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you  tried." 
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking." 
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you  need it." 
"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of  the bread." 
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from  many is 
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch  up." 
"The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required  to be on 
"Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have  film." 
"The problem with the gene pool is  that there is no lifeguard."
I thank you.
Switchback the Hiker Saloon Bar  Fly

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