[pct-l] Libido and the Hiker

Reinhold Metzger reinholdmetzger at cox.net
Fri Sep 22 00:07:15 CDT 2006

I agree with you Switchback; you should not get into backpacking sex advice.
The hiking community would be better served and informed by reading my book,
"Sex in the Wilderness."
I will try to answer your nine objections to the best of my ability.

1.  If you practice the falling asleep on the wheel method,  you will be
fairly rested afterwards.
2.  You are right, it is an activity that saps your energy.  Like Clinton
said, it makes your knees knock.
3.  I know what you mean Switchback, afterwards you will be calling each
other sugarplum, honeybun, etc.
4.  Switchback, even you could assure a stellar performance every time by
including Viagara in your emergency kit.
5.  If you follow my directions in my book, you will never get caught by the
6.  If I have to choose one activity  over the other, guess which one I will
choose.  Remember, life will go on without
     the trail fest,  kick off or gathering, but survival of the species is
dependent upon you know what....Therefore, I
     encourage everybody to do their part to ensure the survival of the
7.  You are absolutely right, afterwards, you will be skipping along the
trail singing "You are my sunshine, my only
     sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray," instead of focusing
on the pass ahead and the sweat and
    agony to get over the pass.
8.  It seems to me that I read somewhere that sex is one of the best aerobic
and cardiovascular exercises and will
    do more to get you in shape for the PCT than any other exercise.
9.  Switchback, if you do it more often, it becomes second nature and it
won't be so complex, no does it have to be
     so time consuming if you are willing to settle for a "quickie."
  P.S.  Switchback, you said no sex on the PCT; you said nothing about the
  So I assume it's okay to do it on the JMT?

JMT Reinhold
Author,   "SEX IN THE WILDERNESS"   How to do it on the trail, off the
trail, in the bushes, in the bivy sack and 99 other ways.
            ----- Original Message -----
From: Hiker97 at aol.com
To: reinholdmetzger at cox.net ; pct-l at backcountry.net
Cc: laura629 at hotmail.com ; carolbruno at cox.net ; john.hannah at c-b.com ;
Tarvalee at aol.com ; pct-l at mailman.backcountry.net
Sent: Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:36 PM
Subject: Libido and the Hiker

reinholdmetzger at cox.net writes:
I....... don't smoke,....... I don't drink,........SEX  IS  MY  ONLY
VISE......that is why I do care about living until I'm 80.
I was not going to get into "SuperSecret of Backpacking - Sex" advise.  But
my responsibilities to the community requires a response.  The most
important thing to remember is that you CANNOT be involved with sex and be a
PCT hiker.

First, it keeps yo awake too late at night when you should be resting.  Or
it keeps you up too late in the early morning when you should be on the

Secondly, it is an activity that saps your energy.  Not good.  Not what a
hiker needs to be involved with.

Thirdly, this activity can lead to familiarity.  After it is over someone
might think they can call you by your first name or even your trialname!
This is a serious violation of trial etiquette.  Only your friends and those
you specifically okay can call you by your trailname.  Otherwise, it is
always "Mister Switchback, Mister Scruffy, Mister Grizzly", etc.

Fourth, you leave yourself open to criticism and grading.  Who needs that?
What if it gets up and down the trail about your less than stellar
performance.  That would be real nice to hike along with.  Everyone talking
behind your back.

Fifth, it is probably illegal.  Some places along the PCT it is most likely
illegal and subject to a fine.  What if a Ranger comes along and gives you
ticket for having sex?  Now what?  Guess who is going to be stuck paying
that ticket?  You!

Sixth, you could be kicked out of hiking events.  Have you read the fine
print on attending the April Kickoff, the ALDHA-West Gathering, and the PCTA
TrailFest?  You cannot just show up at these events and not be held to a
standard of conduct and decorum.  It is a rule of participation - no sex at
any of these events!

Seventh, sex too often makes your trip memories fuzzy.  Your memories should
be centered on your hike.  You are out there to be with the trail and not
some interpersonal relationship.

Eighth, sex takes away your time and focus on hiking.  Your time is valuable
and you should be using it for hiking trip preparations or hiking.  Anything
that interferes with your total focus on the PCT and hiking is bad.

Ninth, sex is too complex and time consuming.  Hiking is simple and
straightforward.  Hiking is user friendly, sex is not.  You can spend all
your time trying to figure out what you said or did or did not do and why
the other person is now mad at you.  Good luck trying to figure all that
out.  You could have been on the trail cranking out big mileages.

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings.  I could go on and on.  I know
all hard core backpackers know all this and abide by these rules.  Just
remember, "No sex if you are a PCT hiker."

I am getting a little worried about you and your commitment to our
hiking/PCT activities.

Your "Dear Abbey" of the Trail, Switchback

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